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Monday, September 3, 2012

Propelling Forward to My Destiny!

This was a bittersweet weekend for me and I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the answer to a debating question for me?  Why did you go back when God was propelling you forward?  Today I picked up Bishop T.D. Jakes book STRENGTH to STAND and I just so happen to resume reading in Chapter 7 The Cold Kiss of a Calloused Heart and as I begun to read I found comfort in the words Bishop Jakes wrote on page 82.

            If God allows a relationship to continue, and some negative, painful betrayals come from it, you must realize that he will only allow what ultimately works for your good.

After reading this sentence about ten times I allowed myself to reflect on a relationship that God is allowing to continue.  I consider myself a very optimistic person so I will always find good in something bad, I see the positives of the relationship but I know that many negatives exist.  I always ask myself why do I keep going through this and I ask God why did you put this person in my life and these feelings for this person in my heart, my mind and my spirit if this is the continual end.  Bishop Jakes states that sometimes betrayal ushers you into the next level of consecration, a level you could never reach on your own.  Now granted, I don’t feel betrayed but ironically enough when I woke up this morning the word consecration was resonating in my spirit.  I was intending to look up the definition but never got around to it prior to reading.

            The word consecration is a noun ( which means it is a person, place or thing, it is not an adjective so it does not describe the quality of a word and it is not a verb so it does express action, it is a person, place or thing, and it acts as the MAIN or only subject of the word!  I added this because I thought it was interesting and this means to me that it is not something you do it is something you become!




1.  the act of consecrating; dedication to the service and worship of a deity.

2.  the act of giving the sacramental character to the Eucharistic elements of bread and wine, especially in the Roman Catholic Church.

3.  ordination to a sacred office, especially to the episcopate.


After looking up the exact definition of the word I had to ask myself what are you consecrating yourself for?  To whom are you creating this benevolence?  Believe it or not I have an answer to the questions!  First, I decided to do it for me after watching Jumping the Broom and then I realized that it was my duty as a Christian woman to do this for God.  I had decided to be abstinent until I was married—yet my husband still has to find me.  But how can a man find a woman that has not yet found herself?  He can’t!  A man that finds his wife finds a good thing and obtains favour with the Lord. (Proverbs 18:22) However, if you have not found yourself how can he find you?  Recall in Genesis 3:9 that God called out to Adam and asked him “Where art thou?”  I never really thought about the depth of this scripture but as I sit here I wondered, why did God call out and ask Adam where is he?  God is omniscient and omnipresent so he knows exactly where we are at every moment and to go further he knows where we are before we even get there!  God asked Adam this because he wanted to know if Adam knew where he was.  At this moment in my life I know who I am (as a woman, a child of God and in Christ Jesus), what I can do (all things are possible with and through God), the desires or my heart (God said we have not because we ask not or when we ask we ask amiss).  I know what I desire my future husband to be I still recall when I prayed for it driving down I-275 over a decade ago.  God knew my prayer before I ever thought of praying it because he knows everything I will do before I even do it.  God did not ask Eve where she was he asked Eve what did she do then he cursed the serpent.  In this I understand that God knows all and will allow things according to his purpose for my life but he keeps asking me why did you do it, I know why TOT did things but I’m still learning Natasha.  He already knows why but I don’t know why.  Until I know why I do things and where I am, my husband will not be able to find me and just as God asked Adam I know someone somewhere is asking me the same thing but because I don’t know I can’t answer. It is time for me to stop going back when God is propelling me forward.  From this realization I can now research the problem to resolve it because until I know why I can’t change my default settings.  I find comfort in knowing that the man that matters most (God) knows exactly where I am and he knows exactly how it will all end.  Praise God for the breaking that is preparing me for the blessing that he is currently preparing before me.  Until next time my lovelies have a glamorous day.

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