Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Growing Pains---A Life Changing Experience
Recently, I had what felt like one of the worse days ever. Dealing with Divorce has its emotional highs and lows. On one hand your happy it’s over and to be moving forward but on the other your sad and feel like a failure at times because you couldn’t make it work. You wonder what you did wrong. What could I have done differently? How can I avoid going through this again? As I was going through this I finally opened up Tyrese Gibson’s book “How to Get Out of Your
Own Way” and started going through it. Then I felt a little overwhelmed so I went to sleep hoping to sleep some of the sadness I was experiencing away. To my surprise I awoke with a dm (direct message) on my twitter from Mr. Tyrese himself. I must say I was ecstatic. I replied to his dm and it took a moment for it to register that he was now following me on twitter. In that moment I realized that everything happens for a reason because nothing just happens as Bishop T.D. Jakes (my spiritual father) has preached many times. My marriage may have been a fluke but the two handsome boys that resulted from my soon to be ex-husband are surely a blessing. And the motivation to push myself to be better and get to the next level came from all of the emotional ups and downs in my relationship with him. I decided I didn’t want to count on him or depend on him. I wanted to show him….hey I don’t need you! Success is the best revenge to me. But through my growing pains God showed me that my pride was hindering my growth. So now, I tell him, hey you need to help. Can you do this? Can you do that? I am willing to meet him half way. The lesson was a blessing as Tyrese says in his book. The lesson was to know my bottom line! I know what I want in a man, a lover and a friend now. I did not know this before. I knew what I wanted in a father for my son but not in a man for myself. He met the criteria for a good father but not for a good husband. Before this, I did not know! This was because I did not know my bottom line. Instead of walking away I kept blaming myself because I looked at him as a good father and put my need for a good man out of my mind. I was content with what was given during my relationship with my soon to be ex-husband because he was a good father and to me that was all that mattered. This resulted from my prior relationship ending and me being told I asked for too much! I was a single mother raising a son alone that I had at 17 years old so I never thought of me much, I thought of him, my son. When I broke up with my ex before I started the relationship with my soon to be ex-husband, I felt that my expectations and demands were too high so I lowered the bar. I am finding Mr. Gibson’s book to be more of a confirmation of all the things God has shown me over the past year letting me know that I am on the right track. DO NOT SETTLE! Go for the gusto. I was raised on the principle that I can do bad by myself and Tyrese confirmed that it is okay to be selfish! It is okay to put me first! So with this blog I want to say thank you Mr. Tyrese Gibson for letting God use you and confirming for me that I am on the path to greatness. I know Mr. Right is out there and I am willing to be patient and wait for God to bring me to him. Until then I will live in peace, love and hair grease! Why hair grease because my passion is being one of the best hair stylist out here and I haven’t went full fledge in the field because I hit the pause button to be a loving wife and a devoted mother but now it is truly my time to shine so keep up with me while I am at the bottom because one day soon you will see looking glamorous at the top! I am birthing the new me! Until next my lovelies have a glamorous day.