Thursday, July 3, 2014
How Do You See Yourself? Shade Free
How Do You See Yourself? Shade Free
As I scrolled down my Facebook timeline as people participated in the Grown and Sexy Collage Challenge it was nice to see people participate male and female. Everyone doesn’t view grown and sexy in the same light and my thought on that is to each their own. All men are not attracted to skinny women, all women aren’t attracted to muscular men so we can’t say what is grown and sexy to one is not grown and sexy to another even if it is not grown and sexy to you! I read a post this morning that got me to thinking, the post in my opinion was bashing some of the people that participated n the challenge and my first thought was stop trying to put people in the box that you are comfortable in.
From there I found myself in Webster’s dictionary defining a few terms for this much needed blog to get a few things off of my mind. So let’s first define self respect, self esteem, character and integrity before I delve off into what’s really on my mind shall we?! Of course we shall. J
Self Respect is defined as proper esteem or regard for the dignity of one’s character.
Self esteem is defined as a realistic respect for or favorable impression of oneself; self respect. Another interpretation of the term is also defined as an inordinately or exaggeratedly favorable impression of oneself.
Impression is defined as a strong effect produced on the intellect, feelings, conscience, etc.
Character is moral or ethical character, reputation, the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing; Qualities of honesty, courage or the like integrity.
Integrity is the adherence to moral and ethical principles, soundness of moral character, honesty. The state of being whole, entire, or undiminished it also referred to as virtue.
Now that we have the definitions out of the way let me tell you how I really feel. Women all feel they have some level of virtue but not all are women of virtue (marinate on it).
Well since we are here let’s throw this definition in the pot as well. Virtue is defined as moral excellence, goodness, righteousness. Now let’s sit and ponder on this for a moment…my virtue may not be your virtue and vice versa. Where one sits decides where they stand so my arena may not be your arena but does that make you a more virtuous woman than I, I think not. I don’t care if you’re in the club seven days a week or home with your kids seven days a week or off being Messy Jessie, Boring Becky, Awesome Antoinette or Freaky Francine seven days a week, that ain’t my business nor my concern!
We really have to stop judging people based on such petty items such as what they post, how they pose, what kind of pictures they take, who they date, how they dress, etc, etc, etc. Let’s look at how they contribute to society, how are they raising their kids, how do they respect others, how do they respect themselves. I saw all kind of pictures and I really did not frown at one, because I respect people’s opinion of themselves and where they may be in life at this point and time.
See there was a point in my life where I dressed in halter tops and daisy dukes with cleavage all out, super short tight dresses with stilettos, huntay I did all of that and had fun doing it too! I enjoyed my body and my sexiness during that time of my life. I was raised to know that jeans were meant to be worn tight, you should not be able to pinch an inch, and flaunt it while you have it because one day it may be gone and most importantly to never ever be ashamed of anything I do. This is why I can live my life not giving a thought of what anyone says or thinks about TOT because in my mind it is what I think about myself that truly matters.
Change comes with time! Nothing anyone said or did changed my dress, my attitude, my conversation or anything about me but me. And truth be told those that feel they are the epitome of virtuosity must understand that hey people feel some type of way about you too! Yes, boo its true! You may be one that covers your body up and speaks calmly and feel that you are what every man should want but that doesn’t open the door for you to judge and talk down to others because they are happy with the skin they are in (feel free to read my blog on that in case you want to know what I mean).
There was a time in my life where I was sexy as sexy could get and you could tell me nothing and today I still feel that I am as sexy as sexy can get for me. I don’t feel there is a woman out there that is better than me or more deserving of what I desire in life because if I desire it then I shall have it no matter what it may be.
So the next time you want to throw shade because someone is proud of their hips, thighs, ass, breast and or cleavage just realize that you are knocking just as Messy Jessie would. Perhaps you are not currently or may never have been happy with your own lips, hips, thighs, eyes, ass and/or class so you knock those who are. Now is this a shade post? No, no , no, no shade, for real (in my Nikki Minaj voice) of course not it’s a post for all the women of God that turn their nose up at women that were once like me.
Only God can judge and change a person so just stop it ok…..holy rollers are just too much nowadays but how about we post what you do in private since your choice is to ridicule what others do in public! Now that was my shade tree right there because I don’t throw shade I throw trees baby….let’s get to the root of it all. God saved me and God changed me but he still gave me the freedom to be me! J Until next time my lovelies have a glamorous day!